OK, so is the 7-year itch just folklore for real? The phrase has since expanded to indicate cycles of dissatisfaction not only in interpersonal relationships but in any situation such as working a full-time job or buying a house, where a decrease in happiness and satisfaction is often seen over long periods of time. The phrase was first used to describe an inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage in the play The Seven Year Itch by George Axelrod, and gained popularity following the 1955 film adaptation starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell. The “seven-year itch” is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. Let’s start with some background … straight from Wiki: Talking about these things and forgiving can go a long ways to ensuring an intact marriage.Here’s an interesting study excepted from Kahneman’s Thinking Fast, Thinking Slow… Life can be difficult at times and couples can say and do things that are cruel and nasty. ![]() Doing unexpected things such as buying flowers if that is rarely done, writing romantic notes to your spouse and giving a warm kiss when coming and going can all work towards building enduring marriages.įorgiveness is also an ingredient that is necessary. Couples can plan vacations together, set up dates with one another to go out for a romantic dinner without the children. These and other activities are important in building and maintaining a vital marriage. By the way, this is not sexual touching but just a spontaneous way of expressing interest in and warmth for your partner. It’s important not to forget to touch one another. It is amazing how a touch can feel reassuring and warm. Who better to turn to then your husband or wife when facing difficult times.Īdd to all of this the importance of touch. It is equally important for couples to help one another cope with stressful and traumatic events. If anything, it is also important for a spouse to help their partner achieve the goals they have set. whether it’s a promotion, increase in salary or getting a really good bonus, this is an opportunity to jointly celebrate and validate. Talking sometimes involves one spouse communicating good news to the other. It is important for couples to make time to engage in this kind of talk each day. After all, the humdrum events are those that fill an average day of living. In addition, listening helps validate what is being said. Introducing humor and playfulness into the talk is also helpful and makes talking more fun. For one thing, it’s important to discuss the mundane events of an average day and listen carefully to what your partner is saying. What are some of the strategies that successful marrieds use to maintain the health of their relationship? There are a number of strategies that have been suggested. The cycle then repeats itself.Įven though the divorce rate is high, there are many couples who seem to be resilient and weather the storms that come with marriage. In point of fact, a second marriage also becomes routine after some time. The myth that accompanies the crisis at this stage of a relationship is that happiness is to be found elsewhere. Often, this is expressed through a lack of interest in sex, a sense of no longer being in love with this person and/or in wanting to have an affair and a divorce. Therefore, after 5 to 7 years of marriage, people become so accustomed to one another that it can feel like marriage is boring. ![]() This refers to the fact that, after a certain amount of time passes, all the initial excitement that accompanies something new and exciting, things settle down into a routine. It’s been pointed out in another blog,, that something called habituation happens with most novel situations. For this woman marriage problems began seven years into her marriage and persisted until today, 15 years after this couple married. This is so familiar that it is popularly referred to as “The seven year itch.” Of course, this can happen before seven years or many years afterwards as well. There is something about hitting that seven year anniversary that puts a damper on many marriages. This is an example of a problem that afflicts many marriages.
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